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Taking real life situations and weaving it into a story that can make you think about a particular topic in a way you haven’t before is one of the greatest benefits of reading fiction. Recently, this happened to me when I read the book Song of Silence by Cynthia Ruchti. https://amzn.to/2WqzYtT
Ruchti is an extraordinary fiction author who creates intricate story lines that are exceptional in their telling and always thought provoking. One theme that struck me in this book was the idea of perfectionism. I don’t know if this was one theme she was trying to address, but it spoke to me nonetheless. By nature, I’m not a perfectionist; however, I strive for excellence in everything I do. To me, there is a huge distinction between the two.
From the pages of Ruchti’s story, the quote that really led me on this journey of reflection was “Practice doesn’t make perfect. It makes possible.” Wow!!! What a great way to look at it! How many times do we say practice makes perfect, but what really is the definition of perfect? If you look it up, one of the definitions is free from defect. How many things in life can really attain this? If we view it from the standpoint of the quote, our best is good enough. It is a healthier response and thought process.
None of us is perfect. We all have flaws and imperfections, so why do we hold others or ourselves to this unrealistic standard. I’m not saying that, in whatever you do, you shouldn’t try your best. I firmly believe we are called to be the best we can be at whatever your task may be. Things can be nearly perfect. I think that is as close as we can try to get. Even when things are far from perfect, if we dwell on the lack, we will miss the joy that can still emerge.
I know I have said the phrase “This is perfect!” and I mean it wholeheartedly. But for myself, that means everything, in my eyes, is just right.
It might not mean that everything is exactly in order or happening the way I originally intended, but it is still beautiful and special in that moment. If a person fixates on everything being exactly right, you can easily miss the beauty and specialness in a situation that might not be “free of defect”.
How many of us know people who are what we would classify “perfectionists”? I’m sure every single one of us knows someone or maybe it’s you. For these types of people, we could all probably come up with a list of characteristics. It often seems they are frequently less happy than others who would not be considered a perfectionist. Trying to live up to this standard can bring frustration, stress, anxiety, and hostility. All things that suck the joy out of life.
One of the characters in the story Song of Silence https://amzn.to/2WqzYtT struggled with this problem and had to be reminded to keeping striving for her best in each given moment–not for perfection. She was the type of person that had everything planned out and loved how her life was progressing—all according to plan. However, life rarely works the way we hope in all areas, and this character struggled to come to terms with the loss of her planned life. She struggled to adjust.
Even if our life doesn’t come unraveled, if we strive for excellence instead of perfectionism would we experience the same sense of loss? It is definitely a question to ponder. You might be saying, what is the difference really between the two. If you are striving for excellence, you are working to be the best you can be at whatever you are desiring. It doesn’t mean that everything will be perfect. If you are taking a test, you might still get an A but it might not be a 100%. If you are working on a project, it might turn out beautiful. You might notice a few imperfections that most will never see, but it was the best job possible. They don’t distract from its beauty, and you are happy with the outcome.
You might decide to have someone over to your house or maybe they even just stopped in unannounced, but instead of enjoying the person coming, you are worried about whether everything is in perfect order in your home instead of enjoying the time with that person. Sound familiar? A perfectionist would get caught up in the fact that there might be a few negligible imperfections and never appreciate the beauty.
Throughout my life, I strive to do the best job possible at whatever I’m doing; however, I’m keenly aware that everything is not always perfect. It has not kept me from appreciating the joy in a situation, beauty in an object or place, or just the spontaneity of a circumstance. I choose to be fluid in all I do. It has literally kept me sane in many areas of my life. Without the rigidity of perfection, I can enjoy my life to its fullest.
That is the beauty in it all. No one wants to feel discontented or agitated all the time because things aren’t living up to their expectations. It’s not realistic to attain perfectionism. It helps to come to that realization because when you do, life is way more enjoyable.
Reading this story really made me reflect on this theme in ways I hadn’t fully thought about before. That surely is the beauty of fiction. It is amazing what one can learn from looking at someone else’s life on paper. It allows you to escape into another’s world and think about how you really feel or how you might react without the pressure of experiencing it yourself first hand. Isn’t that a wonderful thing? We can learn and enrich our own lives without having to experience the pain of the characters in the book. Sounds like a better way to live, maybe even preparation for the road ahead. 😊
Looking for your next read? You must check out Cynthia Ruchti’s book Song of Silence. https://amzn.to/2WqzYtT She is such a gifted writer who keeps you captivated from the first page to the last. Her stories are so well written, engaging, thought-provoking and filled with truth. When you read this book, you may find other themes that resonate with you. That is the beauty of perspective. When you finish this one, you will definitely be looking for her next. Cynthia has many other wonderful stories; you won’t be able to read just one. Join Ruchti on her journey of hope.
Song of Silence can also be found by following the link below at Christianbook.
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Song of Silence By Cynthia Ruchti / Abingdon Press Lucy Tuttle had intended to keep teaching music as long as she could. But when she’s forced to retire, the song slowly fades from her life and faith—until a young boy and his soundless mother change the way she sees and hears everything. Music taught her love and beauty—can silence teach her hope? 320 pages, softcover from Abingdon. |
I always try to be perfect and it doesnt work
Thanks for reading Jimmy. That does seem to be the problem when we try to be perfect. We usually don’t succeed. 🙂
I don’t believe in perfectionism because we are human and as such inherently flawed! It’s interesting you mentioned guests coming over and you’re distracted worrying over the condition of your home. Anyone can visit me at any time because my home is “lived in” and will never be seen as pristine! I live by the quote: “make your plan in pencil and give God the eraser”. People should enjoy not fear or worry about the twists and turns of life because those are the very things that make life interesting and worthwhile. Thanks for your post!
Thanks so much for your thoughts, Eve. I’m the same way with my house. I always say that if someone comes to my house and is more worried about what it looks like, then they didn’t come to see me. Trying to live up to the idea of everything being perfect will always leave you feeling empty because it is so unattainable.
I’ll begin by saying you will NEVER go wrong when you read a Cynthia Ruchti book! I have read several of them in the past and have given some as gifts, but have not read this one as of yet. The author has a way of telling a story that grips you from the first few pages and you’ll find it hard to put it down. She writes stories about issues that everyday people deal with and has a way of drawing you into her characters lives. As she weaves you into her stories, you might find yourself thinking about a situation or problem that you deal with in your own life that are similar to the characters. It may just give you some insight to help you understand what you are dealing with, or you decided to just read a great story for the pure enjoyment of it!
I have had the privilege to personally meet Cynthia Ruchti as she is a close friend of my extended family. She is truly a very talented and wonderfully caring woman with strong Christian values, someone who lives by what she believes!
After reading this blog I will have to make this Cynthia Ruchti book the next one on my must read list. It is easy to see why all of her books have 5 star ratings, she offers a great story to read, but it can also gives us food for thought as we navigate our own lives.
Thanks for your insight! Glad you love Cynthia Ruchti’s books as much as I have. The Song of Silence is an excellent story so much like her others where you just want to keep reading. She is such a wonderful writer and I love to read her stories.
A lot of good points in this post! I love that you made a distinction between perfectionism and striving for excellence. I’m not a perfectionist and couldn’t imagine being one, too exhausting!
Thanks so much Alexis. I’m with you all the way on that one; it takes to much energy.
Thank you for sharing your well thought out book review. I’m always on the hunt for something I can’t put down!
Thanks so much Maggie. I love to read and when you find a great one you just want to keep reading. I hope you get a chance to read this one. It sure is great on many levels.
Great post and totally relatable. I am a perfectionist, which has led to excessive stress and anxiety for me. I have never heard “Practice doesn’t make perfect. It makes possible” but it truly is a great way to look at life.
Hi Brie. I had never heard of that statement before either until this book and I loved it and made an immediate connection with it. When we can strive for that hopefully you can feel less stress and anxiety. Thanks so much for sharing.
I would love to read this book. I believe it would resonate with me greatly, especially at this stage in my life.
Hi Kristin. I hope you can read this story. It is such a wonderful one on so many levels. I love to be able to share what I love with others as well. Thanks for sharing.
I am very interested in reading this book! I was a perfectionist for my entire childhood and early adult life, and I was so unhappy! I have changed so much since my cancer diagnosis. Mainly, I have stopped trying to be perfect. It’s so liberating, and even with cancer, I’m so much happier. Thanks for your post. It is such a good reminder, and I always love hearing about new books like these!
Hi Ramae. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I’m so glad that you were able to free yourself and experience life without all the stress. Your story is powerful and a true testament to how much better life can be when we just let it go. I love hearing about new books as well. There is so much for us to learn even when we are reading a good fiction book. 🙂
I definitely do not have this challenge but my husband does. I always feel like he is disappointed in his progress on a project. He has gotten better as he ages but when he was younger I felt it much more.
Hi Tricia. We have similar situations except the opposite is true for me. As he ages it seems to be worse. Just wish for him and your husband that they could experience the freedom from it. Thanks for sharing.
Great review! There is a lot of food for thought! I will be getting a copy! Thank you!
Thanks so much Holly. It was such a great book and I’m so glad that you will be able to share in this story as well. Thanks for sharing.
This sounds like a great book to put things intro perspective. Practice makes us better not perfect!
Such a great statement. You are so right. This book is really fantastic in so many ways. I hope you get a chance to read it. Thanks for sharing.
I struggle with this too! And I agrees this can cause some anxiety.
I have some family who struggle with this as well, and it sure does bring with it some anxiety. Thanks so much for sharing.
One of my children was a natural-born perfectionist. He didn’t talk until he was three. The speech therapist came to the conclusion that he was a perfectionist and would prefer not to speak as opposed to saying something incorrectly. There were several parent-teacher conferences due to his perfectionist tendencies. Luckily, I was able to help him to understand that doing his best was better than being perfect.
Wow! I have never heard of a case like that. I’m so glad that you were able to help your child. It is so hard to watch and experience the pain of someone who is struggling with perfectionism. So thankful for your thoughts. Thanks for sharing.
Things can be perfect because of their imperfections!
Very well said! I love that. Thanks for sharing
Sounds like a good book that I can add to my reading list 🙂
Definitely add it to your reading list. It sure is worth the time. 🙂
In visiting a cathedral in Germany, the tour guide pointed out a tile that was purposefully laid sideways to show that nothing but God is perfect.
That is such a cool analogy and visual to remind us. Thanks for sharing that. Really neat.
Lots to think about and consider!
Definitely. Hope it spoke.
I love the book recommendations!
Hi Melissa. Glad you enjoyed the recommendation. It is such a great book; worth the read.
I used to think I was a perfectionist but I think I’m more focused on striving for excellence as I get older. Thankfully I stopped obsessing over everything being perfect like I did when I was younger.
Thanks for sharing Amy. So glad that you were able to leave the obsessing over perfection in the past. It does tend to free our spirits.
I try to be a mix of a planner and going with the flow. I love to plan, but I don’t plan for the next five years or anything. You never know what could happen.
That is so true. Direction is good, but life doesn’t always follow our plans. 🙂
I have always struggled with being a perfectionist, and unfortunately I can see my oldest child struggling with it too.
It is such real struggle for many.
Perfectionism is paralyzing. At least for me. If someone stopped by unannounced, they would find things very far from perfect.
Totally agree and I think you would be like most people that don’t have everything constantly together in their house. I always say if someone is more worried about the way my house looks than they are not really there to see me.
I think I gave up on perfectionism when I was like 7 or 8. I decided that instead of aspiring to be/look/act like the people deemed as perfect that I would just do my own thing because I didn’t want to go put forth the effort and end up failing. So I more so went into the direction of doing things I was naturally good at and doing things I didn’t necessarily have to work hard for.
I believe we were born to enjoy the life we have been given and that can happen more when we don’t focus on perfection. Thanks for sharing.
I’m totally going to try to remember that quote “practice makes possible” because I agree, even if I practice something a ton of times, I don’t perform it perfectly. But it does seem more possible after having practiced it. Another author who helped me cope with my perfectionism is Brene Brown in her book “Daring Greatly.”
Thanks for sharing Chelsea. Glad that the quote spoke with you as well. Thanks for the suggestion of the other book as well.
A younger version of me is much of what you described. As I’ve aged, I’ve definitely mellowed & let things just be. Life’s lessons at their best.
Thanks so much for sharing. I’m glad that you were able find more peace as you have aged.
I’m learning to move away from perfectionism, but it isn’t easy (especially when the people that know you well expect it of you – they assume something is wrong when you fall short).
Thanks for sharing. It is hard when people try to hold you up to those expectations.
Great article! It’s definitely so important not to dwell on LACK. I try to catch myself when I go there, and redirect.
Thanks so much. It is so important to train our mind so that we can caught ourselves when we are heading in that direction.
I love discovering new authors to read!
So do I. Thanks so much.
I was much more of a perfectionist in my younger days (before becoming a parent). My kids had a way of curbing that for me…should I be thanking them? I am glad you point out the difference between striving for perfection and be a perfectionist.
Thanks so much for your words. Kids can have a way of doing that. 🙂
As a first born daughter, I struggled with perfectionism as a child and young adult. I’ve grown past that need to be perfect or expecting others to be. Sounds like a good book to pick up and read!
Hi Cindy. This is a great book and I’m so glad that you have been able to move that struggle. Thanks for sharing.
“Practice doesn’t make perfect. It makes possible.” THIS! Definitely spoke to me! I definitely have a streak of perfectionism running deep through me!! Sometimes it makes life a larger challenge than it needs to be. Great post! (The photo of the chipped tile had my OCD rattling a little, I have to say). Lol
Hi Marianne. So glad that spoke to you. This is a real struggle for some people and when we can let go a little, life seems a little smoother. Thanks so much for sharing.
I sometimes think I’m overcoming my perfectionism as I get older but my sons and my husband assure me I still have a long way to go. It’s a good thing to journal about and meditate on.
That’s a great plan. It truly is a hard habit to break. I wish you success on your journey.